Well, it wouldn't be an award show without a little bit of ridiculous play on what we all know in high school.
Who is the biggest overachiever in the room?
Anyone disagree with Rebecca Jones?
How about the biggest charlatan?
This is going to be a tough one.
This is a hard-fought, well-deserved award.
No other than Jack Hatwick.
He was signing books he didn't write at the last CypherCon.
It was amazing.
How about the biggest flirt?
What do you think?
No other than the monster, of course.
What about the biggest nuisance?
Who do you think the biggest nuisance in the room is?
Johnny Christmas.
Duh.
Come on.
It's obvious.
All right.
Multitasker.
We saw it tonight.
He's in the back of the room.
He's wearing a black shirt.
He doesn't like to be noticed.
His name is Sean.
Well done, Sean and the A.B.
team.
These guys crush it.
What about the bourbon stash?
Anyone have a guess as to who that could be?
How about coin?
I think so.
Yeah, it was pretty good.
I don't think my little mini bottle was quite competition for the kind of caliber of bullets that man has.
Oh, I hit the button too fast.
You're outed, Patricia.
Yeah, it's real.
And then we only have one drama llama that we're about to experience, DJ Thug Shells.
That'll be fun.
Well, how about the best?
Best personality, the best dancer, the best friend, the best smile, the best dress, the best car?
Oh, definitely.
Yeah.
I mean, it's TX, right?
Yeah.
Mystical Electric Universe.
Dancer?
Most definitely.
Mystical Electric Universe.
Wow, look at that.
Best friend?
I can personally attest.
It's wonderful.
Thank you so much.
You've helped me through so many things.
Smile?
Look at that beautiful smile.
TX, you've outdone yourself.
Best dressed?
Well, I mean, come on.
It was not easy to get a ball gown into this place, I'll tell you.
Most security people?
They're nice, but thorough, thorough.
And car?
Absolutely.
What is that?
Is that the McLaren?
Very nice, Miss Universe.
Did you just kind of morph that out of your, like, metal thing?
I don't know.
Liquid metal?
Yeah, I don't know how you do it.
It's kind of confusing to me.
I am the CEO, but I know nothing about the company.
That's why I call myself the CXO, because whatever, I'm a C-something.
Oh, right.
Ah, this plunger's for you.
Please don't destroy it.
Yeah, it's going to end poorly.
That's important.
We should know everything about you.
And by everything, we mean everything.
Viridian Dynamics.
We're listening.
Always.
So what's next?
How about some evening Backwards 48 chaos and a little DJ Thug Shells?
Thank you so much.
It's been an honor to be your mock host today.
And as much as I pretended to be an absolute narcissist, I kind of am one.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Woo!