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The future is not set.
Hello?
Hey everybody!
How's it going?
Well, guess what?
We're going to do it live!
It's Hacker Password!
All right.
Well, if that didn't get you excited for Hacker Password, I don't know what will.
Quick poll of the room.
Who here has heard of the game Password before?
All right, that's not bad.
Well, it's a very simple game where contestants will be pairing with our celebrities up here on stage to say words that makes them guess other words.
You can't use words that have a form of that word in them.
I'll hand you the word.
You give a single one-word clue very loudly into a microphone to your partner here.
And your partner will have to guess at what the word is.
Everything else we'll handle along the way because, you know, explanations are silly and dumb.
But here we've got two teams here with two celebrities.
So let's introduce ourselves.
Our first celebrity, all the way from our country that used to be an ally.
I'm sorry for my country.
It's Evil Mog!
I'm sorry.
Gee golly gosh darn it, don't you know.
No doubt about it.
Mog, tell me a fun fact about yourself.
Somehow they trust me with pyrotechnics.
I don't know why or how.
There's a lot of unanswered questions in that story, which is my favorite type of a story.
Over to your humble non-celebrity partner.
Please introduce yourself.
I'm a non-celebrity... I can't even talk.
Non-celebrity Silly C.
Silly C?
Now what's the story behind that name?
It's a palindrome.
Okay, again, more questions than answers.
And I have a feeling that is going to be the theme of the next 45 minutes or so.
Everybody, the first thing you say is going to be your team name.
What is it?
Be funny.
Can we swear?
Sure.
Fuck it.
Team Fuck It.
Love it.
Audience, give it a hand for Team Fuck It.
Over to our second celebrity guest here.
We've got a keynote speaker and an all-around great person.
It's Cathy.
Hello.
Investigator Chic.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I just assumed it was Chic because stylish cat ears.
Would you like to share a fun fact about yourself?
Fun fact.
I've been a volunteer firefighter for almost 30 years.
Wow.
That's a lot of hoes.
It is.
All right.
Excellent.
Come on.
Shut up.
And why don't we pass the microphone over to your partner.
Please introduce yourself.
My name is Maxim.
I go to WCGC.
Love it.
I love your magazine.
So why don't you tell us a fun fact about yourself.
I do have a fun magazine, if you do know.
But I'm in college.
I should graduate in May.
And, yeah.
Awesome.
Congratulations.
And , well, I guess a little premature for congratulations.
Let's hope you don't fuck it up.
And let's give it a hand.
And your team name is?
Sloth.
Sloth versus fuck it.
Exactly the way i drew it up.
All right.
Well, everybody, let's see if this software does anything.
Let's go to the game board.
Hey.
I literally can't believe it.
All right.
So the way this is going to work, each one of these individual Passwords actually fills into a five clue puzzle.
The object of the game is to guess the thing that's in the Blue box, which will be clues from all the five passwords.
We'll get there when we get there.
When you get a word correct, the person that guessed it correctly Gets to take a guess at the puzzle.
I encourage you to take wild guesses.
Who knows?
You might be right.
But we're going to start with a word.
And we're going to randomize this to see who's in control.
Looks like team fuck it is in control.
And we're going to go with word number one.
Yeah, let's hear it for hacker period!
Please clap.
All right.
Here's the thing.
You're going to get this word.
Do not show it to each other.
If they're cheating, call them out.
All right.
So the first word in control is over here at the bucket.
Take a look at your word and deliver a one-word clue.
Oh
, my god.
Faster.
It's giving me a clue.
No hand motions, you asshole.
Say a word.
Bong.
The clue is bong.
Pot.
Is it pot?
No, it's not pot.
All right, kathy.
Your word now for five points.
You want me to actually say it?
The word?
No, don't say the word on the card.
Give a clue that makes him say the word on the card.
This is going great.
You can do it!
Really good choice to be a contestant on one of my game shows then.
Three seconds.
I don't know.
All right.
She didn't give you a clue.
Do you want to guess any word in the random universe?
Snake.
All right.
Is it snake?
Holy shit, no, it's not snake.
All right.
For four points, your second clue.
Pound.
Drugs.
Is it drugs?
No, it's not drugs.
All right.
We've got bong, nothing, and pound so far.
Kathy, have you thought of any words yet?
Just any words.
Okay.
Let's try one of them.
Breakfast.
She said breakfast.
Pancakes.
Is it pancakes?
No.
All right.
For two points.
Remember the clues you've heard.
They won't help you.
Potatoes?
I think that's potatoes with a question mark.
God damn.
I feel like the audience knows it at this point.
Plants.
Is it plants?
No.
All right, Kathy.
This is for one singular point.
And the last clue of this round, thank God.
Browns.
Oh.
Browns.
Three seconds.
Dirt.
Is it dirt, audience?
No.
All right.
On the count of three.
One, two, three.
Hash.
That is right, it is hash.
But since nobody got the word right, I'm going to put it on the board and we're going to go to round number two.
Cool.
All right.
I guess I better pass this over here.
You can throw that word away.
There you go.
You can throw that one away.
Take a look at your word.
And when you're ready, deliver the word.
Your first clue for six points.
Payments.
Cash.
For five.
Bank.
Money.
For four.
Sequel.
Server.
He knows what port that is on, am I right?
For three.
Analysis .
Transaction.
Hey!
I apologize for scaring you all with that sound because you did Not know what a correct answer sounded like.
All right.
Now, you guessed that word correctly, which means that you Get a guess at the puzzle.
So let's put the puzzle on the board and show your second clue.
First clue.
Hash.
Transactions.
What do you think the common link is?
Maximum for ten points.
Cryptocurrency.
Is it?
Cryptocurrency!
Oh, i'm sorry.
That was scary, too.
All right.
No, that's not the correct answer, so we're going to go Back to the board.
And we're going to go with number three.
And that is going to be over here for six points.
Very manual.
Very stationary, this process.
For six points.
Separated.
Got to keep them separated.
Three seconds.
I got nothing.
Nothing.
There it goes.
For five.
Cryptocurrency.
Helpful.
Remember the clues you've heard.
They're not going to help.
Doesn't help.
Um...
Three seconds.
Split.
For four.
Getting my steps in for this game.
Seven.
Segmented.
Chain ?
Is it chain?
No, it's not.
Autonomous.
What?
You guys have any clue?
Seems like no.
I'm just going to say blockchain.
Is it blockchain?
For two?
Apart.
Three seconds.
Salt.
I would love to be inside your head, maxim.
Because that's the word.
Diffuse?
Diffuse or diffuse?
Diffuse.
Yeah.
It's what's in the box that keeps the electricity on.
Distributed.
Is it distributed?
And for one point.
Nodes.
Three seconds.
I don't got it.
All right, audience, who's got it out there?
Anybody?
These clues were so good.
What we were showing here was...
Decentralized.
Oh, you wanted harder words, I thought.
Well, we'll put that one on the board.
Nobody gets it.
To word number four.
I believe...
Who started last time?
All right, Mog.
Take a look at your word.
And for...
Six points.
Unchanging.
Static.
Unchanging static.
Incorrect.
Veeam.
Do you know what that means?
Uh...
I've heard of it.
Don't know a lot about it.
Is that a product plug?
Incident response.
Okay.
That's two words.
For four.
SCHG.
It's a flag.
Sure.
I don't think it's going to help.
So i'll just let him go.
I love the confusion on Carl's face.
That's my favorite.
Penguin.
Incorrect.
I wish I had an angrier sound.
For...
Some points.
Unchanging.
Coins.
Coins?
Incorrect.
For two points.
Um...
It's like going to play poker And looking at your cards again And they haven't changed.
All in.
Three seconds.
Ah...
Fuck.
Um...
Fuck.
I got to take the first thing you said.
Think about all your clues.
Yeah.
Except for that one, maybe.
Okay .
Three seconds.
All right.
No.
No?
Okay.
You looked at me like i did this to you.
You did.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
Last clue of the round.
Permanent.
Password?
Password.
No.
Audience?
Is it immutable?
Yeah.
Nobody guessed it, though.
We'll put that on the board just to remember what the Correct answer board looks like.
Nobody say anything now.
All right.
Yeah.
The audience gets a guess and this will be a real short game.
All right.
I have no idea what happened there.
That's really funny.
Kathy, for six points...
Wrong game.
You're not helping.
Hold on.
Let's see if that works.
Yeah, that works.
All right.
Kathy, anything?
Yeah, I don't have anything.
All right.
Well, let's see.
Fuck it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Maxim.
Give it a shot.
Why not?
Nothing.
Cool.
Accounts?
Accounts.
Users.
Accounting.
Financials.
For four.
Transactions.
Ledger.
Tying the game.
All right, Carl.
You have all five things on the board.
Hash, transactions, decentralized, blockchain, and ledger.
Bitcoin.
I have no idea why it's doing that.
Just kidding.
I don't think I can stop it at this point, so just enjoy it.
Is it, what'd you say, bitcoin?
Decentralized finance?
No.
All right, since they didn't guess it, you get a chance to guess the puzzle.
I might have said it accidentally.
Three seconds.
Way to give the other team a clue.
All right, Maxim.
You have heard the word like four times in the last five minutes.
I don't remember the word, though.
Blockchain?
Did you say blockchain?
Oh, that's fun.
All right, we got through the first puzzle.
Don't know why that's happening.
You're done?
Oh, sure, yeah, go ahead.
Actually, you know what?
Get out of here.
Give me two more people.
Clean!
Well, that probably helped it load.
It did not.
Oh, that's really funny.
I did build this, though.
It will eventually hit the corner.
All right, seriously, come on.
Two more people, quickly.
We're doing it live.
All right.
Figure out one that i know they know the words.
All right.
Congratulations, your team.
Fuck it now.
All right, we're going to load this puzzle.
The inside players will go first this time, Maxim.
Since you did get the points from last round and obviously won, we will go with your first clue for six points.
Corral.
Gather?
Gather.
Incorrect.
I'm not hitting buttons anymore.
Gilded?
I'm going to say illegal clue.
And we're going to go back to Maxim for four.
Buffet.
Golden?
Golden is...
Correct!
For four points.
That's fun.
I mean, I told you it was a vibe golden, all right?
Let's see what that one says.
Hey!
Still four points.
All right, so Kathy, I'm afraid to do it, but the word is...
I knew that was going to happen.
Golden.
Don't worry about that.
It will be fine.
I have no idea.
No answer.
We got to stop that.
Word number two.
We're going to start over this time.
For six points.
Greek?
Zeus.
Incorrect.
For five.
Poseidon.
Gods?
Incorrect.
For four.
Roman.
Did you say Roman?
I want to say Olympia.
Decidedly Greek, but no.
Greek.
He said Greek again.
For three
.
Nothing ?
For two.
Charon.
Charon?
Okay.
Caesar cipher.
Caesar cipher is definitely two words.
And for one point.
Fantasy.
No answer.
Audience, you got this one?
Mythology.
All right.
Let's go with word number three.
Greek, Roman.
All right.
For six points.
Over here.
GUI.
Ew.
Interface.
Nope.
For five.
Microsoft.
UI?
Nope.
For four.
Outside.
Windows.
Yay!
It's windows!
And to make a bunch of sounds happen.
But i won't expect.
We've got...
No, we don't.
Oh, my god.
This is what the rest of the internet is going to be like forever, folks.
You realize that.
Once we lose all the rest of the programmers.
Here, hand me those.
We've got...
Oh, my god.
Golden windows mythology.
All right.
Back to the thing.
Blue number four.
There you go.
For six points.
Hold on.
Let me hit the button.
That definitely matters now.
Ntlm.
Globe.
Nope.
For five.
Multi-factor.
Authenticator.
Um...
I'll give it to you.
What is going on?
Wow.
This is just broken as shit.
Oh, my god.
It is authentication.
But it's true.
So we've got windows.
Golden.
Authentication.
And mythology.
No.
You didn't get any answers right.
You guessed wrong on that one.
You did.
All right.
Three seconds.
Last one.
Maxim, take us home.
Problem.
Oh, okay.
Problem.
Answer.
I know what you're studying.
For five.
Raffle.
Shuffle.
Problem raffle.
For four.
Raffle.
Nailed it.
Ticket.
Ticket is correct.
I can't do anything about it.
But windows.
Authentication.
Golden.
Mythology.
Ticket.
Maxim, this is the last chance for your team to get the points.
Three seconds.
What is kerberos?
Kerberos is...
Correct.
Immutable.
Oh, my god.
Yeah, there you go.
Oh, man, that's so funny.
I have no idea.
All right.
Well, there's a bunch of points.
Like 12 or so.
I don't care.
All right.
Let's do another one.
Who cares.
What's going on?
All right.
Sure.
This might be the worst one yet, folks.
Not going to lie.
Are we at least having fun?
I appreciate your lying to me.
All right.
There's the first one here.
Kathy, do you want to abdicate your seat to somebody else?
I'll let you go if you want to.
Johnny, get up here.
I did not need that angle.
All right.
Let's see.
Let's see what happens here.
Hello.
Hey, jacu.
How's it going?
What are you doing?
Oh.
I just answered your phone call on stage in front of CypherCon.
Yeah.
Anyways.
Say hi to CypherCon.
Sorry i'm not there.
I'm busy doing stuff.
Cool.
That's fun for everybody.
Weirdly, the most engaging content we've had on the game Show so far.
All right.
I'd rather not.
All right.
Let's see what we got for number one.
Maxim is going to be guessing.
Johnny?
For six points.
Camp.
Tent.
Incorrect.
For five?
Vegas.
Camp.
Vegas.
Slots.
No.
For four?
Hearing.
What does that say?
Yeah.
Okay.
Hearing.
Hearing camp.
Hmm.
That wasn't a guess.
I thought that was commentary and i'm going to allow that Commentary.
Noise.
I really like her.
But no.
For some points.
Hacking.
CypherCon.
No.
Last clue of the round, johnny.
Gathering.
Party.
It is a party.
That's true.
And the last clue of the round.
Event.
You guys give out great clues.
I think everybody else knows it out in the audience.
Right?
I got some nods.
Don't say immutable.
I don't know.
Audience.
Three, two, one.
It is, of course, defcon.
Defcon.
Defcon goes on our mental board.
Because the real board makes sounds i don't like.
First six points.
The moment of realization is what we are really here for.
Everybody grew a little bit that day.
First six.
Fake.
That's aggressive.
Imposter.
Matrix.
Glitch.
Reality.
You just got that.
Yeah.
I certainly do.
These are actually good clues.
I don't know what to tell you.
Nothing.
All right.
Like a couple points.
Test.
Yeah.
I just had already forgotten.
Immutable.
The irony of that being the word that gets stuck in the Scoring system.
Do you even remember what he said?
Okay.
Good.
No.
Three seconds.
Answer.
And the last clue of the round.
Somewhere around the last clue of the round.
One more over there.
Progress.
World.
Last clue.
Pick another one.
Yeah.
Why don't you look at him?
Does that help?
It just makes it worse.
That's why I suggested it.
Come on.
Virtual.
Reality .
No.
Audience.
Nobody.
This one was, of course.
I am so surprised that worked.
That is unbelievable.
All right.
Word number three.
We are starting over here this time.
I still can't believe it said Simulation when i pressed the button.
That's crazy.
Checkers.
Game.
Five.
Horse.
What?
Horse.
What does that say?
Checkers and horse.
Oh, okay.
Horse.
Game.
That's what he said.
The microphone doesn't help.
Kings.
Chess.
Chess!
All right.
We are going to try it again.
Let's see what happens.
We have got Defcon.
Simulation.
Chess.
It was all part of the plan.
War games?
Is it?
War games!
Okay.
That one got me.
I am not going to lie.
Oh, my god.
This is my favorite game show i have ever done.
I am not going to lie to you.
Good job.
They got one right.
We are going to let them stay on stage.
Maxim, you are killing it, man.
I would take it away, too.
Oh, man.
That's so funny.
All right.
Cool.
Yeah, no, it's worse right here.
All right.
Let's see if this works.
Who cares?
Maxim, you haven't given clues in a minute.
Let's do it here.
You are going to go second.
I never got your name.
What's your name?
Jeremy.
I don't think i got your name, either.
We rushed through that.
Zach.
Jeremy and zach, let's give them a hand, everybody.
All right, jeremy.
I saw it long enough for you to look at the word.
Was i not supposed to?
No.
So you can think of a thing to say.
All right.
Relaxing.
Meditation.
Meditation, no.
For five?
Chill.
Vibe.
All right.
We've got the only clue.
And i'm not going to press the button.
Vibe.
I'm not going to say that.
Proud of you.
Give everybody a hand.
Johnny christmas grew up in front of our face today.
How about that?
Three seconds.
Programming.
Programming is not it.
Let's go to the next word here.
Maxim.
It's going to be your first clue.
Highlighter.
Marker.
For five?
Teen, 12.
Underglow.
Subaru.
I have fucking follow-up questions for you.
For four?
Underglow.
Subaru .
Beer sign.
I'm going to go illegal clue on that one.
For three?
Is that an o?
One of them is, yes.
Way to give away one of the letters, though.
I love that for you.
And I love that it won't help.
There's an o in it.
Element.
Element!
You're the one that said Subaru, remember?
Subaru.
Light.
No.
Element.
Neon.
Neon!
Correct!
Nope.
Cool.
Every time it gets a different word up there.
That's so good.
All right.
That's real fun.
Let's see.
You get first this time.
Jeremy, you get to go first this time.
Oh, yeah, you want to guess?
We didn't get a guess.
It was neon and vibe.
I'm blinking on the word.
Cyberpunk.
Is it cyberpunk?
Let's see what happens.
Anyway, it's cyberpunk.
We had neon glow, graffiti, dystopia, and game.
Cool.
Let's make that stop happening.
All right.
We're going to play one more and call it a day.
Everybody give a hand to these contestants!
I have no idea why it's doing that.
Anybody want to swap out?
Do it now or forever hold your peace.
All right.
Oh, okay.
Come on.
Somebody.
Yes, please come here.
Hand the clue over.
Is that...
I gave it to you?
Okay.
I gave it to you as well.
All right.
Your name is?
Shay.
Hi, Shay.
Hand for Shay.
Shay, would you like to share a fun fact with everyone?
I used to work on a freighter.
Like in space?
Like great lakes freighter.
Oh, wow.
What was your job on the freighter?
I was a ticket seller.
There's tickets.
You would have known the word ticket earlier.
You wouldn't have said trouble.
Okay.
Got it.
One more hand for Shay.
Thanks for coming up here with a couple of minutes left.
Mercifully, the last six-point clue of the game.
Shield.
Defense?
Nope.
Oh, it is defense.
That's correct.
Let's see what happens.
Who knows?
Hey!
All right.
The word is defense.
Correct.
You didn't know that before.
I didn't.
So there's going to be a puzzle.
Blue team?
Is it blue team?
Wah, wah, wah.
I'm not turning to that scene anymore.
That's the way it goes.
All right.
For six points.
Chain.
For five?
Wall.
Router?
No.
For four?
Stop.
Firewall.
No.
For three?
Impass.
IBS.
For two?
Physical.
Security.
And the last clue of the round.
Impenetrable.
Demilitarized?
No, those were all good guesses.
Anybody in the audience?
Barrier.
Well done.
I'm surprised as you are.
All right.
Let's see puzzle number three.
Give a hand for barrier, huh?
Good job.
All right.
That was a tough one.
Let's see what this one is.
Okay.
We are over here again.
For six?
No, because nobody got the word.
You have to get the word to be able to guess the word.
Condom.
Protection.
All right.
Your words are defense, barrier, and protection.
Firewall.
Let's see what happens.
I want to know.
What is it going to say?
Is it firewall?
This is my favorite thing that has ever happened.
Yes, the word was firewall.
This has been one hacker password.
Let's play the other sound.
Thanks, everybody, for coming.
I don't want to take credit for this one.
Have a wonderful rest of your CypherCon, everybody!