howdy whoa that's loud I sound a lot
taller than I actually am um so I'm the
Aussie guy um yeah that's me I'm a
professional that's that's me
at a bush doof in Australia um we
Australians are very good with words we
take the bush and dance music which goes
tough tough tough when we put them
together you see what I did there
Bush stuff it's it's like a party out in
the middle of the bush with a whole
bunch of people that like drive out and
take a whole bunch of drugs and party
all weekend yeah people trust me with
their innovation it's a good idea so but
the reason that I've got this up here is
that I honestly think I have learned
more about UI and UX design and how
people work from these kinds of events
than the last decade of UI stuff I
honestly honestly there's like there's a
rugged humanity to what happens at these
kinds of events and I do them every
every half year or so to keep me weird
god I think I think that's important
right um by day yeah we danced so nicely
put we we do innovation for companies
that are like hyped to do innovation but
to kind of big and slow to actually do
it and obviously this involves like a
whole bunch of UI and UX stuff so whilst
I am completely on it undereducated on
like law and security stuff other people
deal with that you are and UX is like
this my thing right and there's this
there's this marvelous thing that
happens when you're like particularly
good at anything I think like if you do
your 10,000 hours on anything you you
see the face of God in it you know you
get you get totally into it and it's
like 12 hours in front of an iMac
pushing pixels around and your brain
melts and then you go to leave so that
you can get out into the real world and
you grasp the door handle and
neo like like oh my god I can see the
card thing happens and you like this is
bad UI I know this this is bad you are
if this was a lever it would be easier
to to open if this was like a sliding
door that knew who I was and let me if
it had like a little swipe card like my
hotel that would be kind of secure and I
could get it oh I can see the code it is
all UI like my feet are the interface
between like my myself in this stage for
the goal of like wandering around while
I rant yeah like you can have you can
have the division between like
accountancy and law let's say yeah like
that's a that's an interface I'm air and
water service engine interfaces yeah and
and there's this thing right with
interfaces we're really good ones after
you start thinking about them not just
as portals but that's like places for
somebody to get from one place to the
other or or interact with one thing or
another
um they kind of these start to drift
away and you get this kind of weird Zen
like maybe I've taken too many drugs at
parties now you get this Zen like kinda
great UI is not their feeling it's it's
porous its transparent it's this it's
like it's like old lovers that talk
without talking it's it's it's like like
a like a classical guitarist that has a
beautiful guitar and it is no longer
human the guitar it's like the guitar
plays him and he just opens up his heart
and the music comes out and that's it he
couldn't tell you how right because
guitars are brilliant bits of UI there
are really really well figured out PC UI
so if I don't know if UI is the guitar
if UI is the the notes in the song then
how can we how can we can't in textual
as UX in there yeah I would say that I
would say that UX is is the it's that
tap of the conductor's baton right at
the start so the things like quieten
down it's like getting the tickets in
the mail before you go and see the
concert
it's it's like walking walking down the
street with your friends afterwards
talking about the experience um like on
the web we like to think about branding
notice what you tell an audience you are
or what you do branding is is what they
tell their friends about you and UX is
the thing that they tell their friends
about you right so we've got a whole
bunch of guys in the studio and we've
got this issue where we get a whole
bunch of new employees because we're
growing quite quickly and I need a
really quick and dirty way to explain to
these guys how to think about UI and UX
and it's really really easy if you just
think the person on the other end of the
UI is drunk it works it works really
really really well we know that drunk
people are like really distractible so
you take them like step by step by step
through the idea yeah okay you're gonna
put on your shoes okay now you gotta get
into the taxi you've seen this kind of
thing right like we we we have big fat
childish buttons that you click yeah and
they've got like little bevels on them
so that you know that you can interact
with them we've got this oh by the way
it's Melbourne time it's like Friday
night and I'm not willing to reset my
clock
um we we we say things twice yeah this
is something we've stolen from speed
signs in Australia yeah when you are
driving down an Australian Road you'll
get a little thing that says 60k an hour
and then 50 metres later also you'll see
another sign that says 60 K an hour it's
because you missed the first one because
the kids are arguing in the back and you
see the second be like yeah okay slow
down right we say it twice we say next
slide and then we have a little arrow
pointing right you know because cuz
drunk people need it twice yeah there's
a whole bunch of a whole bunch of like
really simple kind of technical reasons
why thinking about the end user a strong
works really well um but we're here to
talk about like privacy and security
right are we going to talk about the
larger issues and I think some of the
the more human issues so let's see if we
can stretch this embarrassing metaphor a
little further and talk about the UX of
privacy um so sick let's start with the
fun stuff six okay so when you when you
drive to this Bush stuff right because
they're like that someone's farm or
whatever you always you can't to the
front gate and you roll down a window
and some dude will give you like a
little thing around your wrist you know
to prove that you've paid and you get
like a garbage bag to fold your rubbish
away and more and more these days they
give you a little pocket and a little
packet when you open it up it's got a
couple of condoms in it that says put
these in your back pocket and so you
oblige and because you're sad about
music you don't care about this and
underneath it there's another little
sign that says dude this party lasts all
weekend and it is going to be red a baby
lasts forever
so party hot but party safe right and it
works yeah it works really really well
and I think like part of the reason why
is because condoms are again brilliant
UI right there's like a standard little
pocket with blooper you can like use it
one-handed to pull the packet of heart
you know it's like if the UX around it
is really good you know like we get that
we get that thing at 14 where we all sit
in an embarrassing class in high school
that when you put the condoms of bananas
you know there's like we have billboards
in Melbourne telling men to check out
their sexual health it works because
it's like a multilateral approach to
safety and a drunk person can use a
condom you know it works okay so another
thing about about drunk people it's
that's concentrate on the drugs um so
have you uh have you ever noticed that
thing where a party's the more people
get drunk the more they share about
themselves we'd love to share with
societal beings you know we share
everything um I got his friend who has a
beautiful trick for getting people to
interact better at parties right because
she's a really good hostess and what she
does is she sits all the strangers in a
circle together and gets them all a shot
of tequila and and the idea is that you
take the shot and then you explain
quickly your most embarrassing sexual
misadventure and you know everyone in
the group is like no I'm not gonna say
that I'm drunk but not that drunk
right but she stalks off she takes two
shots just to make a point and then she
tells this story about or like double
denim and country music and I'm pretty
sure I'm being filmed so I'm not gonna
repeat it but the point is that she
shares and because she's shared the
person to the left chairs and chairs and
chairs and chairs and before you know it
we've got this this group of people in
this web of trust
sharing stuff with each other because we
expect what happens in Vegas to stay in
Vegas and the idea of somebody the next
day going and telling somebody else
about it is is unheard of right we trust
each other because we've shared
something together it's it's so similar
to the way that people share
online we share our our personal hopes
and dreams on Twitter and Facebook
you've seen the way that 16 year olds
use this stuff right it's terrifying
um there's like there's a whole bunch of
stuff that we do online that is really
similar to stuff that we do when we're
drunk you know it's it's that guy the
same no I don't smoke I'm just drinking
right now I'm not a smoker and and next
morning like 9 a.m. you give them a
cigarette they are not gonna want it
right it's it's I actually think it's
kind of beautiful right because there's
those lovers that would never meet if
they like haven't have had a bit of
Dutch courage and said how they felt to
one level you've got like you see it you
see it on like the reddit comment
threads you know like those those two
neck beards having a beautiful like
incisive interesting conversation that
would never happen in real life if they
were sober because they'd have to make
eye contact
I wouldn't it wouldn't happen right and
the reason that this works like the
reason this works is because cuz UX
design wins right it it just wins if the
UX design is bad don't work I don't care
how beautiful the technology stack is
how how politically and I don't care
right it doesn't work UX design wins
right like I've gotta say as soon as I
get my hands anywhere near one of these
bad boys
I don't like staple it to my forehead
and just run around like a man I don't
care if they're tracking where I pee
day-to-day or like sampling my blood and
like taking pictures of my pupils to
make sure I'm bi I don't care I know the
Germans are liking me right now
but it's true it's true do you know what
actually I'm Siri I'm can you remind me
tomorrow at 2:00 p.m. to look into how
absolutely invasive your privacy policy
is Thank You Siri nice nice I love you
too bye um the reason is that these
things work because they're easy right
they work because they work on the level
that makes us happy right UX Trump's all
and I think it's one of these things
where I don't know it's it's it's the
case where if you do really good UX it's
not actually about like the interface or
it's not really about the the the method
that used for for dealing with the human
beings behind it it's it's how you
respect what people want to achieve with
it yeah if you have one of these like
our young
if you have one of these situations
where you've gotten a whole bunch of
good user interfaces that don't respect
the wishes of the person at the other
end it doesn't work let me let me bring
us back to reality again in a more
intense and interesting way so there's
this really interesting bit of
technology that was made I think was
embedded by an Aussie actually it's
called the LifeStraw and it's a little
like a bit of plastic thing about this
long and the idea is the kind around
your neck and you can go to like any
water any you doesn't matter how dirty
it is
stick it in suck in the other end and it
filters like 99 point something percent
of the impurities out it's technically
phenomenal it is utterly and incredibly
decisively brilliant apart from the bit
where it doesn't work um like yeah it
filters water sweet but I mean never
mind that the price point is like a
fatherhood of the yearly wage of the
people it's meant to be used by never
mind the fact that are the people that
are actually given it don't know how to
bloody use the thing right like they
come back and find out who's using it
six months later and half of them
haven't been taught the other ones that
have been taught don't even care they're
not going to give the most valuable
thing in their house to the kid to walk
down the street with never mind the fact
that no self-respecting human being is
gonna put their face this far away from
a dirty thing of water and suck on a
straw for 20 minutes it doesn't bloody
work
and when you have to suck for 20 minutes
to get your daily water intake because
it's a bloody desert and they need three
times the water of the people that
invented the device you it's a
no-brainer that it doesn't work right
but that there are there are some
solutions that are solving these
problems
um and the solutions that work are ones
that have simple transparent interfaces
that are built with respect for the
person that's using them on their terms
using their materials in ways that make
them feel like they've got ownership for
the device um a lot of the solutions to
these problems are really data-driven
you know you've got these like impact
philanthropy they look like startups
operating in the charity world and they
are kicking ass like they are really
really good because they build the
entire UI and UX around the people
they're gonna use it now I guess I guess
if that was the build then this is the
drop um I'm not actually talking about
drunk people through this entire thing
I'm guessing you might have noticed that
by now um I mean the fact is take take
the the 45 year old kick our CEO and
she's got like two degrees under a belt
and an MBA and a hundred people that
report to her and she's dealing with
problems that haven't been invented yet
and she's got the kids that need to be
taken to soccer tonight and she's got
the parents coming over on the weekend
and she's not entirely sure whether it's
her turn or her partner's turn to cook
dinner tonight in with the amount of
time she's got left to look at her
device she might as well be blind drunk
she might as well be blind drugged I
mean there's we've got professors here
they're gonna back me up on this one
rightly you have like a little blinking
male thing at the bottom of someone's
screen you just wipe like ten points off
their IQ so imagine imagine flinging
life at somebody and then expecting them
to understand an interface and on your
terms
it just doesn't work I mean as a UX
person who cares deeply about this stuff
I don't really care if you're dealing
with like a 22 year old you know San
Francisco hipster in Starbucks on his
MacBook or or it could be that 45 year
old blackberry user or it could be the
the two million proud people of West
Rhonda the the u.s. is the beat that
counts and I can I feel like like you
champions of industry that we have here
today you guys are uniquely placed to
make the kinds of decisions that that
let us reach reach through that reach
through the UI and talk to somebody in
their terms and touch their heart and
let them change something that's that's
really exciting it doesn't matter
whether it's like an iPhone or you're
dealing with like a language interface
or you're dealing with I don't know some
kind of big neural network II thing that
people who are interfacing with at some
point or another it doesn't matter if
it's like a physical device or a
technological device or or a glass of
water IDEs this is good I said glass of
water and the Germans are like you lie
um I mean come on it's like 11 o'clock
in the morning I'm not gonna drink gene
are you mental I got like a panel to
speaker and I'm so jet-lagged right now
I'm not entirely sure who I am I'm not
gonna throw alcohol into the mix um but
I know the Germans have a point the
Germans have a point here right there
that's a valid experience
no it's valid it's volatile II valid I
mean at no point did I say that that was
alcohol but no point did I mention the
word martini or or gin I'm hoping the
video will back me up on that but
they're seeing this like pink shirted
slightly mental guy that habitually
dresses up in Pikachu outfits talking
about sex and drugs and rock'n'roll you
can you can imagine how that's the
understanding that they'd have right I
guess like when this the secret is out
and the the UX is found to be wrong
by one party then the entire content of
the situation come you're listening to
this NSA the secure the the secret is
out and and the experience has been
compromised and as a result the entire
content of the thing comes into question
hmm
anyway anyway I'm gonna I'm gonna finish
up I'm sorry what can i as a humble UX
developer actually teach you am i
recommending that Monday kind of
mid-afternoon you take the project that
you're working on right now and have
like a couple of sneaky scotches and see
if it cuts the mustard I'm absolutely
not that's a that's a terrible idea and
I wouldn't recommend it and I don't tell
any of my staff to do that ever really
really bad idea
um maybe maybe the important thing we
should do is the Germans and I will go
after this and have a pint of bit burger
and get a little bit drunken a little
bit excited and start the conversation
again on human terms
okay sorry there we go will drink the B
you want how's that I'm gonna get out of
your hair thanks guys
you